Larry Niven is a science fiction author. Like many other science fiction authors, he is responsible for citing many rules regarding the world, humorous or not. Niven took to this another level by publishing a series of laws on “how the universe works” as far as he can tell. The following is the revised list as of January 29, 2002.
- Never throw shit at an armed man.
- Corollary to #1: Never stand next to someone throwing shit at an armed man.
- Never fire a laser at a mirror.
- Mother Nature doesn’t care if you’re having fun.
- Giving up freedom for security is beginning to look naive. (or “F x S = k”, meaning that the product of freedom and security is a constant.)
- Psi and/or magical powers, if real, are nearly useless.
- It is easier to destroy than to create.
- Any damn fool can predict the past.
- History never repeats itself.
- Ethics change with technology.
- Anarchy is the least stable of political structures.
- There is a time and a place for tact.
- The ways of being human are bounded but infinite.
- When your life starts to look like a soap opera, it’s time to change the channel.
- The only universal message in science fiction: There exist minds that think as well as you do, but differently.
- Corollary to #15: The gene-tampered turkey you’re talking to isn’t necessarily one of them.
- Never waste calories.
- There is no cause so right that one cannot find a fool following it.
- No technique works if it isn’t used.
- Not responsible for advice not taken.
- Think before you make the coward’s choice. Old age is not for sissies.
- Never let a waiter escape.
