When we play with children and babies, we become silly. We make faces, use made-up words and play make believe. It seems that we have an innate drive to make as much of our interactions with children positiveand fun. Perhaps this stems from a protective instinct; we wish to shield the innocent from the harsh realities of life. So instead of teaching cynicism and negativity, we encourage children to enjoy life and to be happy.
Yet we see adults doing the complete opposite. Acting silly is deemed immature and unseemly. Many cultures even condemn smiling and laughter because they believe it is the sign of an insincere fool. So instead of breaking into song and dance like any child would, many of us put on our most serious face and try to look “mature” and professional. In fact, this is beaten in to us so much during our twenties and thirties that a significant number of people forget the joy of being silly.
Why is it that we can only be silly in the company of children? Why do we forget that deep inside every adult, there hides an inner child wanting to enjoy life? So many people lament that they are unhappy while they deny themselves the infinite source of happiness they hold within.
It takes a very deep level of unhappiness for you to be incapable of smiling at the sight of a laughing baby. Remember that we were all happy children at one point in our lives. That child still lives in on us as we age – all they long for is for you to play and be silly with them.
Try singing a cliché pop song in the shower. Pretend you are in a musical and put a skip in your step while you listen to your favourite song. Laugh at how ridiculous you look while playing air guitar in front of the mirror.
Life is so much more enjoyable when you see it through the eyes of your inner child.
Guillaume Duchenne, the famous French neurologist of the 19th century, conducted many experiments to study facial expressions. Part of his research involved determining how certain expressions are produced – such as stimulating different muscles with electricity to see what muscle produced what expression. During this research, Duchenne identified that a smile could be divided into two distinct groups.
The first – what he called the “Duchenne smile” – involves a muscle called zygomatic major, which raises the corners of the mouth, and also orbicularis oculi, which raises the cheeks and wrinkles the corners of the eyes. The second (“non-Duchenne smile”) type of smile involves less muscles; more specifically it only uses the zygomatic major muscle.
To better visualise this, think of what a natural, genuine smile looks like – a wide grin on the mouth, lifting of the cheeks and slanting of the eyes. This is a Duchenne smile, as opposed to the forced, non-Duchenne smile you see often in photographs. Duchenne concluded that a Duchenne smile only showed when the person was genuinely experiencing a positive emotion. Non-Duchenne smiles were more associated with polite social behaviour when people were pretending to have a good time.
Why do we give flowers to express our love for another person? Handwritten letters take effort and pouring out your heart, while diamonds represent eternity. Flowers on the other hand, are easy to acquire and will eventually wilt away. Of course, that is a rather cynical view. There are numerous reasons why people choose flowers as gifts.
Flowers have a language of their own, so choosing the right flower can mean all the difference for a person who has an interest in flowers. For example, red roses represent true love and passion, lilies represent innocence and purity, while lilacs represent memories of youth and your first love.
It is true that flowers are not permanent things, but they symbolise an aspect of love that is more important than “eternity”. A flower wilts when it is not cared for. Flowers wilt when they are not given enough water or just left in stale water for days without changing the vase water. Every flower needs different kind of care, for example, an orchid may wilt if left in direct sunlight and should be kept in indirect light.
Relationships are inherently dynamic – if you do not pay enough attention to the other person and constantly care and make an effort, it will slowly wilt until it dries up into bitterness. In that regard, perhaps flowers are a better gift than diamonds to symbolise love, as it is a reminder how true love is not something you expect to always stay the same, but something that you have to work hard to maintain.
Or perhaps there is a simpler reason we give flowers to each other. They are simply beautiful to look at add a fresh aroma to the environment. At the most superficial level, a lovely bouquet of flowers is a pleasant thing to receive. Perhaps beyond all the metaphors and hidden meaning, all we wish to say is: “I want to put a smile on your face”.
We are often reminded of how insignificant we are as individuals (or even as a race for that matter) in the grand scale of time and space in the universe. We are but a tiny, invisible dust particle on the map of the universe and we make up a sliver of time in the history of everything. This is a reminder that we should be humble, that no matter how great we think we are, we are nothing in the eye of the universe.
Then again, sometimes it is nice to remember that we are significant. Consider this. For you to have been born, generations after generation of couples have had to produce a child. You are the product of 4 billion years of evolution. 4 billion years of unbroken lineage, from the primordial ooze to bacteria to fish to amphibians to reptiles to rodents to primates. If even a single couple in that chain decided not to have an offspring, you would not be here reading this. Of course, this also puts you under the pressure that you may be the last one in that 4 billion-year chain not to reproduce, but let us ignore that for now.
Now consider the stars. When you look upon the night sky and see the twinkling of a star, what is happening is that photons (light particles) are hitting your retina and triggering a signal that is sent to your brain and interpreted as twinkling. Those photon generated by the star you see have travelled light years through the vast universe until your retinas rudely interrupted its journey. The closest star to us (excluding the sun) is Alpha Centauri, located 4.37 light years away. 1 light year (distance travelled by light in a year) is just under 10 trillion kilometres, meaning that those photons you blocked had travelled at least 41 trillion kilometres – or 41,343,392,165,178,100 metres. All you had to do was exist in a certain location and look up at the sky.
Some might say that you are puny and insignificant compared to this astronomical scale. But another way to think of it is that you effected real change in the universe (even if it was blocking a particle of light). No matter how small you are, no matter how short your life is compared to the history of the universe, you are not insignificant. Chaos theory (better known as the butterfly effect) dictates that even the smallest change in initial conditions can lead to unpredictable, widely diverging outcomes. For all you know, your existence is the difference between the existence of life on a distant planet somewhere.
So never say that you are insignificant. And if evolutionary biology and astrophysics is not enough to convince you, then look around you. The people you have met and interacted with throughout your life are affected by you in one way or another. For example, a compliment you paid in passing might completely change the person’s day. A simple act of kindness you thought nothing of could be recorded in someone’s life book as a life-changing event. Even a smile can make a difference. You are significant.
“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” ~ Mr. Rogers
Seeing a mother hold her newborn baby for the first time
Okay so this one isn’t really “simple” to come across, but when you do, it’s one of the most touching moments you’ll see. There’s something in the mum’s (and dad’s) smile that cannot be described by words. Definitely one of the (few) perks of OBGYN run. Man I can’t wait to have kids some day (I’ll regret saying this in the future).
Meeting people, hearing their stories, sharing a moment and leaving a positive mark on their lives.
There’s a branch of philosophy that believes that the world only exists within our minds. That the people around us are merely figments of our imagination. As crazy as this thought is, to some degrees, we human beings all live at least a little selfishly, absorbed in our own worlds. For example, thanks to a psychological phenomenon known as special pleading, we are prone to judging others by how their actions affect us while we only judge our own intentions.
Because of this human nature, we often forget one simple fact: each and every person that you see around you has a life of their own. That person that you accidentally bumped into has a name, a job, a family (maybe). He or she will have hobbies and interests, goals and dreams, experiences and memories.
Of course, it’s understandable that your brain tends to ignore this simple fact on a routine basis. The poor bugger has to process an overload of sensory and cognitive information every nanosecond, and if it was to consider every little details of everything, your head might just explode. But that’s no excuse to not think about it every now and then. You know, just ponder the implications.
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt about the world, it’s that each person has a very unique story to tell. They are walking books that are in the process of being written into a grander, more epic tale by the day. You’d be surprised what kind of stories you hear from complete strangers. One of the reasons I wanted to go into medicine was to hear all the stories every patient had to tell. I am reminded of this fact every day in the hospital. I’ve met old men who survived wars, kids who’ve suffered more diseases than you would in three lifetimes and even an old lady who gave the best tips on how to cook fish (which I’ve sadly forgotten…). Point is, if you take the time to stop and have a chat, you might hear some amazing stories that put movies and books to shame.
I think one of the greatest joys we can experience as human beings is really opening up to someone, getting to know who they are and showing them who you are to them. Memories, stories, values, dreams, opinions, humour, all that jazz. It might be crazy to think that the world only exists in our heads, but it’s not at all crazy to think that everyone’s perspective of the world is very different. When you share a bond with another person, it’s like connecting those two different worlds. Yup, getting to know a person is like opening a wormhole between dimensions. What that’s pretty cool right. The best part is that this could happen between two lovers who’ve known each other for ten years, or even between two people that happened to meet by chance an hour ago. That’s human interaction I guess. It’s not about the amount of time you’ve spent with them. It’s about the quality of the time you shared with them. Opening wormholes and stuff.
My last point is to do with leaving a mark. It’s one thing to be aware that the person that’s in front of you is a unique life of their own, it’s another to be conscious of the role you play in their story. For example, a compliment you paid in passing might completely change the person’s day. A simple act of kindness you thought nothing of could be recorded in someone’s life book as a life-changing event.
I said at the start that we judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. Well then, by that logic, once you pass away the only thing that will be left to affirm your existence will be recordings of you in other people’s life books. So consider the mark you leave. Even a smile can make a difference.
I’ll end my 30 day challenge with a quote I particularly like regarding human interactions, by a certain Mr. Rogers:
“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” ~ Mr. Rogers
May your life be full of little, simple pleasures 🙂
We laugh when we are happy. Laughter provides us with happiness and is the best medicine available to us, relieving the pain and stress of life. In fact, when we laugh we secrete a neurotransmitter called endorphin, which as the name suggests (endo(inside) + morphine), has the same properties as morphine.
What makes us laugh? The best theory to date is that laughter is an instinctive response to the passing of danger (also called the relief theory). For example, if our ancestor came across a predator but it passed by without noticing him, he would have laughed in response to the relief he felt. Others would see from his laugh that the danger had passed and laugh also (possibly explaining why laughter is contagious).
This theory also explains why humour makes us laugh. When you throw a joke, you are essentially giving the other person a “cognitive riddle” with a logical inconsistency. This inconsistency causes the recipient’s subconscious to become confused: “Why is it funny? Why can’t I understand it?”. As jokes are fundamentally a “surprise” to the other person’s mind, they try to solve it and figure it out whether it is a danger or not. If they get the joke, the inconsistency is solved and the person feels relief (as it has been revealed that the confusion brought on by the inconsistency was not dangerous). Once the confusion passes, the person laughs in response. But if the person does not get the joke, the “danger” has not passed and the person does not laugh. This is the basis of one of the laws of comedians: “if the audience is confused, they do not laugh”.
Laughter is beneficial for your health. Frequent laughter lowers the blood pressure, boosts the immune system, relieves pain and lowers the levels of stress hormones such as cortisol. Laughter is especially good for your mental health, therefore having a five-minute laughter yoga session every day where you just laugh as hard as you can will help you lead a happier life. However, ironically laughter can kill you too. Cases of “death from laughter” have been recorded since ancient Greek times to the modern day. The cause has not been identified but it is known that intense laughter can cause cataplexy, which is a paralysis induced by extreme emotions. It is possible that intense laughter overloads the nervous system and causes a heart attack.
A stroke is caused by a disruption in the supply of blood to the brain, which leads to cell death as oxygen is required. There are two types: ischaemic (where a clot cuts off blood supply to an area of the brain by blocking an artery) or haemorrhagic (when a blood vessel ruptures and leaks blood instead of delivering it to tissue). The most common cause of a stroke is a clot that made its way up to carotid arteries into the brain until it wedges in small vessel. There are many risk factors for blood clots, such as smoking, high cholesterol levels, atrial fibrillation and long distance flights.
Because the brain is always in high demand of oxygen (taking 20% of the total oxygen available), strokes can produce devastating effects within minutes. 5 minutes of oxygen deprivation can lead to irreversible cell death, a principle that is also used in cases of shock, where the blood pressure is too low to supply organs, or cardiac arrest. Therefore, it is crucial to recognise a stroke early so that an ambulance may arrive and deliver clot-busting medication such as streptokinase.
The FAST mnemonic is an effective way of remembering the common signs of a stroke. It is also useful in reminding people to respond fast.
F – Facial weakness: Is the person’s smile crooked? Disrupted brain function causes facial weakness on the opposite side. The weakness is usually seen around the mouth or eyes.
A – Arm weakness: Can the person keep both arms outstretched? This is related to motor function of the brain.
S – Speech difficulty: Is the person’s speech slurring or are they having problems understanding speech? This is a combined result of impaired motor function and speech centres of the brain.
Ask yourself the following questions using a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is “not at all” and 10 is “to a large extent”:
Are you outgoing, energetic, flexible and open to change?
Do you have a positive outlook, bounce back quickly from setbacks and feel that you are in control of your life?
Are your basic life needs met, in relation to personal health, finance, safety, freedom of choice and sense of community?
Can you call on the support of people close to you, immerse yourself in what you are doing, meet your expectations and engage in activities that give you a sense of purpose?
Add the scores for 1 and 2. This is P for personal characteristics. The score for 3 is E for existence (health, financial stability and friendships). The score for 4 is H for higher order and covers self-esteem, confidence, ambitions and sense of humor. Now input each score into the following equation:
Happiness = P + (5 x E) + (3 x H)
This gives a score out of 100. The greater your score, the happier you are (over 80 is considered a “happy life”). This formula was devised based on a psychology study of 1000 people. It takes into account the various aspects of life that contribute to your overall happiness and emotional well-being. The study showed statistics such as 40% of men reporting that sex made them happy, while 25% of women reported that losing weight made them happy. Men found more happiness in romance, hobbies and a pay rise compared to women.
Although everyone has a different definition of happiness, there is no doubt that there are common “happiness” factors to all of us and this equation tries to objectively quantify how happy you are in life.
