Tag: love

Posted in Life & Happiness

The Gift Of Flowers

Posted on by Jinavie

Why do we give flowers to express our love for another person? Handwritten letters take effort and pouring out your heart, while diamonds represent eternity. Flowers on the other hand, are easy to acquire and will eventually wilt away. Of course, that is a rather cynical view. There are numerous reasons why people choose flowers as gifts.

Flowers have a language of their own, so choosing the right flower can mean all the difference for a person who has an interest in flowers. For example, red roses represent true love and passion, lilies represent innocence and purity, while lilacs represent memories of youth and your first love.

It is true that flowers are not permanent things, but they symbolise an aspect of love that is more important than “eternity”.
A flower wilts when it is not cared for. Flowers wilt when they are not given enough water or just left in stale water for days without changing the vase water. Every flower needs different kind of care, for example, an orchid may wilt if left in direct sunlight and should be kept in indirect light.

Relationships are inherently dynamic – if you do not pay enough attention to the other person and constantly care and make an effort, it will slowly wilt until it dries up into bitterness. In that regard, perhaps flowers are a better gift than diamonds to symbolise love, as it is a reminder how true love is not something you expect to always stay the same, but something that you have to work hard to maintain.

Or perhaps there is a simpler reason we give flowers to each other. They are simply beautiful to look at add a fresh aroma to the environment. At the most superficial level, a lovely bouquet of flowers is a pleasant thing to receive. Perhaps beyond all the metaphors and hidden meaning, all we wish to say is: “I want to put a smile on your face”.

Posted in Philosophy

Where The Wind Blows From

Posted on by Jinavie

Wind is a funny thing. It is all around us and we know it is there from what it does. From how it rustles the leaves on a tree, how it feels against our cheeks, to even the destruction it causes through a storm. However, we never know where it comes from. Sure, we can point at the general direction, but we cannot pinpoint exactly what caused the wind and where it started.

Sometimes in life, a similar thing happens to our hearts as well. Sometimes we are smitten with a feeling or emotion. It may be a warm, breezy sensation that makes you feel happy, or it may be a whirlwind that makes you fall head over heels and feel absolutely helpless in the face of it. More often than not, we cannot find the exact reason or source for this. Even worse, sometimes we figure it out, but far too late.

Like the wind, you may never be able to find where those feelings are coming from, no matter how far you travel. But regardless, perhaps it’s not such a foolish thing to follow the wind. You may not find where it’s blowing from, but at least it will feel nice and keep you cool.

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Posted in Psychology & Medicine

A Sensational Experience

Posted on by Jinavie

We use our senses to interpret the world around us. Thanks to photography, video and sound recording, we are able to preserve what we see and hear in our lives. If you have the good fortune of seeing an incredible view such as a beautiful sunset, you can take a photo, look at it ten years later and remember what it was like watching it with your own eyes. If you miss the sound of your loved one’s voice, you can record the sound and play it again.

However, we are still unable to record senses such as taste, smell and touch. No matter how hard you try, you can never perfectly describe the taste of your mother’s cooking, the soft touch that you felt during your first kiss, or the scent of the person you love to another person using just words. This means that these sensations are only in your memories – and yours alone.

It is a shame that you cannot recall these experiences perfectly, as some of our best memories are associated with them. But perhaps you could think of it from a romantic point of view. You can share a photo or a sound clip with others to share your experience – even make it public so that everyone can know of it. However, with things like taste and smell, only you will know and remember that specific sensation. It is a truly unique experience that belongs only to you (and the few others who were lucky to have tasted your mother’s cooking).

Furthermore, as it is only in your memories, the moment you forget about it, the experience will disappear forever. Maybe that is why people cling to nostalgia of these senses – because it is a fragile yet precious thing that is worth treasuring and holding on to.

Posted in Life & Happiness

Deserving Love

Posted on by Jinavie

One of our greatest weaknesses as a human being is that we never seem to be satisfied with “just right”. We always think we have too much or too little of something and this torments us. The same can be said of love. People will often complain that they are not loved enough by their family, friends or significant others. This is natural, for we tend to crave love and attention more than we are willing to give it to others.

The more interesting situation is when people complain of being loved too much. One defence regarding this is that they do not feel that they deserve this love. Some people claim that because of who they are (or more commonly, who they aren’t), they are not worthy to receive the tender loving care offered by another person. Of course sometimes this is said as a plesantry, but in some cases, a person may feel so guilty of this that they will reject the gesture and push the people they love away.

What does it mean to be “deserving” of love? Does this imply that love is some kind of karmic reward that should only be received if we have been kind and generous to others? We are often the harshest judges of our own character and more often than not, we will rate ourselves lower than how others see us. Some people are able to appreciate and be grateful for the kindness of others, while not seeing the effect their own kindness has on others. Because of this mismatch, sometimes we may think that others are being kinder to us than we are to them.

Knowing this, perhaps it would be easier if instead of tormenting ourselves with the question of whether we deserve someone’s love or note, we should let others judge how much love we deserve from them. For they are the ones who feel the kindness in our words and actions, and they are the ones who wish to return that kindness back to us. Instead of feeling guilty of whether you deserve someone’s love or not, feel grateful that you have people in your life that care about you.

And if you cannot shake the feeling that you really are not deserving of that love, there is only one real solution. Be more generous with your kindness and reciprocate that love to others to make up for whatever you are feeling guilty of. Love is an infinite resource and there is plenty to go around for everyone.

Posted in Science & Nature

Fusion

Posted on by Jinavie

One of the greatest challenges for modern science is unlocking the secret of nuclear fusion. Nuclear fusion presents the opportunity for humanity to obtain an extremely efficient yet surprisingly clean source of energy. Einstein’s famous equation – E=mc² – shows the relationship between energy and mass. It turns out that all matter is essentially energy, meaning that by breaking apart the matter to its basic constituents, you can unleash energy.

When two hydrogen atoms are collided together at extremely high speeds, the two protons join with enough energy to form deuterium, while releasing energy. As more hydrogens are collided, helium is formed while releasing more energy and also hydrogen, which can fuse with other hydrogen to start more reactions. This is a chain reaction. Once the chain reaction is established, the fusion reaction will keep producing immense amounts of energy until it uses up all the hydrogen available.

However, there are two main problems we are still trying to solve when it comes to unlocking fusion. The first is generating enough energy to kickstart the chain reaction in the first place, which is called ignition. The second is containing this immense energy, as the intense heat produced would melt any material we can produce to contain it.

This brief overview of nuclear fusion also offers a lesson in life. Most of the good things in life are not single events, but self-sustaining processes. Things like good habits, happiness and human relationships. To form a good habit, you must invest incredible amounts of time, resources and willpower. To start a relationship, you need to make an effort to show the other person how much they mean to you. To be happy, you need to completely change the way you perceive the world.

The best things in life do not happen by accident, but because you made an effort to ignite the chain reactions. Of course, you will constantly need to maintain those reactions so they don’t explode on you, but at the end of the day, starting is really half the battle.

(Couldn’t come up with an appropriate picture for this article……..so here’s a gif of Groot dancing)

Posted in Life & Happiness

Fear And Possibilities

Posted on by Jinavie

You are not afraid of the dark. You are afraid of what is in it.
You are not afraid of heights. You are afraid of falling.
You are not afraid of trying. You are afraid of failing.
You are not afraid of being in love. You are afraid of not being loved back.

The natural response to fear is fleeing from it. It is an instinct designed to preserve our life. But fear – like all emotions – is an irrational thing. Sometimes we fear something not for what it is, but what it could turn out to be. Therefore, the greatest fear is the fear of possibilities. Because we are scared of a certain possibility, we avoid the precipitant to prevent the possibility from happening.

But the possibility you are afraid of is merely one of many branches on the tree of possibilities. You might find the dark room holds a surprise party for you. You might find the height will not lead to a fall to your death, but show you the greatest scenery you have ever seen. You might find that the person you were too afraid of asking out may have been in love with you all along.

By not opening the proverbial box, you extinguish all of these wonderful possibilities. No matter how scary it may be, give the future a chance and take a shot.

Do not let fear steal your funk.

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Posted in History & Literature

Your Other Half

Posted on by Jinavie

According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. The humans at this time were complete. They felt as if nothing could harm them and that they could conquer the gods. Zeus feared the humans’ power and split them into two separate parts to create humans as they are now. Two arms, two legs, one face, half a soul.

Thanks to Zeus, all human beings are condemned to spend the rest of their lives in search of their other halves. When one of them meets the other half – that is, the other half of his or her original self – the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy. There is an unspoken understanding of one another – an unexplainable longing and attraction for each other. One will not be out of the other’s sight, even for a moment. The two continuously yearn for each other and strive to be together until they are finally united.

Love is simply the name for our pursuit of wholeness, for our desire to be complete. It tries to make one out of two and heal the wound of human nature.

1 + 1 = 3

(inspiration from The Symposium by Plato)

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(and here’s a sweet illustration of the myth http://imgur.com/gallery/H0f1u)

Posted in Science & Nature

Atrophy

Posted on by Jinavie

With exercise, muscles get bigger and bigger to generate enough power to meet the demand. This is called hypertrophy, where the cells in tissue divide faster to increase their numbers and build mass. When you do not use the muscles as much, the body decides to recycle the precious resources by breaking down the extra muscle. This is called atrophy – also known as wasting.

Muscles are not the only things that atrophy. The less you think deeply and explore your curiosities, the more your intelligence and wisdom atrophies. As you care less, your heart and ability to love atrophies. As you smile and laugh less, your happiness atrophies.

Like much of nature, the human body dislikes the status quo and strives to avoid stagnation. It continuously breaks down old, unnecessary things to make way for new, different things that will help you better adapt to your environment.

Unfortunately for us, that means to maintain the parts of us that we like, we must train and use the relevant “muscles” – whether it be lifting weights, reading books or laughing heartily for no reason.

Posted in Psychology & Medicine

The Importance Of Hugging

Posted on by Jinavie

American psychologist Harry Harlow was interested in the debate surrounding the role of the mother. Some scholars argued that a mother’s role is to provide food for the baby, while others argued for the importance of the mother’s tender loving care for the baby. To investigate this, Harlow created two “mothers” for a group of infant rhesus macaques (species of monkeys). One mother was made of wire and wood and the other made of soft cloth to simulate the physical contact of an actual mother monkey. The twist was that only the wire mother provided milk for the infant. Despite this, an overwhelming number of infant macaques chose the cloth mother over the wire mother, choosing physical contact over nourishment. It was found that when given the two choices, the infants would visit the wire mother only for a feed, then would cling to the cloth mother the rest of the time. Harlow concluded that the mother’s role is not only to feed the young, but to provide them with “contact comfort” through physical contact.

Hugging is a form of physical contact found in almost every culture across the globe. It non-verbally communicates to the other person that you love and care for them and that you are compassionate for their happiness. It can provide the warmth, comfort, support and security the other person may need at the end of a tough day.

The act of hugging induces a massive release of oxytocin into your system, giving you the sensation of happiness and connection. It reduces your blood pressure and dissolves anxiety, making you feel more at peace. The behaviour of hugging is seen in a mother holding her child, a child cuddling a teddy bear, a couple communicating their affection, or two friends sharing a moment of happiness.

When two people hug, they become something more than a simple group of two people. In that moment of a hug, the two people enter a transcendent zone filled with only love and happiness, where they are protected from the sorrows and evils of the world. It is the physical form of human connection. In other words, a hug is the closest thing to the physical manifestation of true happiness.

1 + 1 = 3

Posted in Psychology & Medicine

Autopilot

Posted on by Jinavie

Anyone who drives to work knows the strange sensation of realising that you have no memory of driving the last few kilometres. It is as if you turn on an autopilot in your brain. Because your brain is a master of pattern recognition, it analyses the route and all the movements like handle turning that takes you to the destination then converts it into a habit. After many commutes, the habit is so strong that the brain does not need to spare any thought on the activity. Ergo, your brain literally turns on an autopilot for you so to spare brainpower.

Thanks to this autopilot, the brain does not have to think about the drive to work. This means that it creates no new memories about the commute and you come out the other side not remembering the drive. An analogy would be to think of your brain’s information processing ability as if it was taking photos. The more new information it processes, the more photos it takes. Because your commute is an automatic process, the brain takes hardly any photos. Therefore, the “album” has few photos and takes little time to flip through. In comparison, your brain takes far more photos if you were to spend an equal time exploring a new scenic route. When you look back on this drive, the album is much thicker and you perceive it as a longer, more detailed memory.

Of course, this is extremely dangerous as your brain’s autopilot does not protect you from changes to your usual commute, such as a car swerving into you by accident. The automatic process means your brain is less ready for information processing and you have a delayed reaction, which may cost you your life.

The same goes for meeting a new person. On a first date, you learn many things about the other person and your brain frantically takes as many photos as it can. Looking back on it, it feels as if every second lasted forever and you can remember every little detail like the song that was playing in the background or the colour of her nails. But twenty years down the line, a day with that same person might feel less special and more “automatic”. Just like your drive to work, such an “autopilot” might result in a horrible accident.

So never stop paying attention to details, avoid forming ruts with surprises and new things. Don’t let your relationship turn into a boring commute.