Tag: happiness

Posted in Life & Happiness

A Jar And Two Cups Of Coffee

Posted on by Jinavie

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he silently picked up a very large and empty jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes.”
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favourite passions – and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.
The sand is everything else – the small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

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Posted in Life & Happiness

Forgetting

Posted on by Jinavie

“Blessed are the forgetful for they get the better even of their blunders.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

If you could forget a horrible memory or experience forever, would you? Although some traumatic experiences are best forgotten, something like a break up may leave painful yet bittersweet memories. Does the cost of heartbreak outweigh all the precious memories you had with that person? There may be doubt that you may miss the lovely memories and regret your decision, but ultimately without the memory you will have no regret either. Is ignorance bliss?

Posted in Science & Nature

Grandmother Hypothesis

Posted on by Jinavie

There are many physiological events that puzzle scientists. Menopause is one of these as it is very uncommon in other mammals. Why do human females stop having periods after aging? From an evolutionary point of view, an organism that has lost reproductive function cannot aid evolution and thus it is a mystery how a trait like menopause survived natural selection. The leading theory in how such a phenomenon happened is the grandmother hypothesis.

According to this hypothesis, as humans are social animals menopause can still be an evolutionary advantage despite not being able to produce offspring. This is because older women can invest the massive amount of energy and time required to upkeep childbearing in other places. For example, they can help their family and society grow by working or taking care of children instead. Furthermore, as the probability of miscarriages and congenital defects rise with aging (generally after a woman hits the age of 30, the chances of a healthy pregnancy decreases), menopause has the function of protecting the gene pool of the species. These facts combined lead to the conclusion that after an individual has reached a certain age, taking care of their children or grandchildren instead of birthing more offspring is more effective in propagating their own genes. Also, there is no one that can propagate massive amounts of wisdom and information to the next generation like the elderly.

In modern society, menopause has more significance than at any point in the history of human beings. As our average life span has surpassed 80 and heading towards 90, almost half of a woman’s life is post-menopause. In some ways, the grandmother hypothesis contains within it a certain philosophy regarding life. As we age, we give birth to children and raise them until they become independent, at which point we escape our basic biological duty of reproducing to lead our “own” lives. Senescence is like a second spring after one’s “biological” life. It is the start to a new life – a more “human” life of your own where you can focus on seeking pure happiness.

Posted in History & Literature

Economics

Posted on by Jinavie

Early economists believed that a growing economy was a sound economy. Growth was used as a ruler to measure the health of the nation, corporations, markets and all social constructs. But it is impossible to always move forwards. In reality, a growing economy goes through cycles of growth and depression, showing a waveform on a graph. An economy without depression forms a bubble that will burst in the future, bringing a greater economic crisis. Simply put, “sound economic growth” is only achieved by the concept of two steps forward, one step back.

We have reached a point where we cannot grow despite having the potential to. Perhaps there will be no further economic growth. Only a continuous state of balancing powers will remain. A sound society, a sound nation, a sound worker… those are things that do not damage the surrounding environment or become damaged by it. We should no longer try to conquer nature and space. Instead, we must integrate with nature and the universe. Our only slogan is harmony. There should be an entwining of the external and internal world and we must live with modesty not violence. Human beings will become one with the universe. Mankind will meet an age of stability where we do not strive for the future or reach for faraway goals. Mankind will live a simple life in the present. Only then will mankind finally attain happiness.

1 + 1 = 3

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(from The Encyclopaedia of Relative and Absolute Knowledge by Bernard Werber)

Posted in Psychology & Medicine

Emotion

Posted on by Jinavie

Unless you are a psychopath, as a human being you are bound to feel emotions. Love, happiness, anger, sadness… there are many emotions that range from simple to complex. Emotions are an interesting system as they allow us to respond rapidly to a situation without thinking, while alerting other members of our society to what is happening to us. Essentially, emotions help us in survival and social interactions. 

According to Professor Paul Ekman, emotions are universal from culture to culture, with facial expressions being almost identical from tribal cultures to modern ones. He found that there are six major emotions: anger, fear, disgust, sadness, surprise and happiness. He also pioneered the field of micro-expressions, which studies the flickering change in our facial expressions whenever we feel a certain emotion. As emotions usually occur before the conscious mind thinks, we are often unaware of the expressions we make.

Another psychologist, Dr. Paul Gilbert, divided emotions into three affect systems. They are as follows:

  • Threat/protection system: associated with the fight-or-flight response, activates in response to danger. It causes anger and fear and is related to catecholamines (e.g. adrenaline) and cortisol (stress hormone).
  • Want/desire system: associated with hunting and rewarding behaviour, helps us perform actions that aids survival such as obtaining food and mates. It is related to the emotion of excitement, which is caused by the neurotransmitter dopamine (part of the reward system).
  • Contentment system: associated with met needs and social connection, especially when we feel safe and relaxed. It produces feelings of happiness and peace, linked to the hormone oxytocin (released with human touch, especially during kissing).

Dr. Gilbert also posited that as societies have evolved over time, our affect systems have been altered. For example, despite the lack of natural predators around, urban dwellers are often in a state of high anxiety. This causes a sustained stress response, leading to negative health outcomes. Furthermore, the agitation and the paranoia caused by constant fear leads to crimes such as murder and war. Our want/desire system has also been heightened as we find pleasure in gaining material wealth. This has led to aggressive capitalism, exploiting other people and the environment for selfish gain.

On the other hand, the contentment system has shrunk. People feel less content despite being in a generally healthier and richer world than 100 years ago. The reason being, our brain has evolved to help us survive, not to keep us happy. 

One must learn how to adapt to these changes by finding a way to relieve tension and stress, while finding inner peace and happiness. Whether it be through sports, music, humour or simply talking to another person, finding your own way to deal with anxiety is the best road to being happy and content.

Posted in Life & Happiness

For Them

Posted on by Jinavie

Eat, for those who are starving.
Run, for those who cannot walk.
Breathe, for those who are suffocating.
Dream, for those who have lost hope.

See, for those who are blind.
Listen, for those who are deaf.
Feel, for those who are numb.
Speak, for those who are voiceless.

Laugh, for those who are crying.
Love, for those who are heartbroken.
Live, for those who are dying.
Be happy, for those who are miserable.

There is no excuse for not doing what you can. 
There is no excuse for trapping yourself in a box.
If it does not harm you or others, then do whatever the hell makes you happy.

Posted in Life & Happiness

Carriage

Posted on by Jinavie

There was a disciple who bought an expensive carriage. He did not want to damage it and so never took it out and instead cleaned it every day. One day, his master visited his house and saw his disciple polishing the carriage. He asked:
“Who owns this carriage?”
“I do.”
“It appears to me that the carriage owns you.”
“…What do you mean, master?”
“Are you not treating the carriage as a servant serves its master?”
“…”
“What you do not enjoy cannot be called your possession. Only by enjoying it do you possess it. Not only objects, but the warm sunshine, fresh air, beautiful scenery are all a man’s possessions if he enjoys them. A person who can enjoy many things can be called truly rich. If a person enjoys the world, even without a single penny they are the wealthiest person in the world.”

The foolish disciple was proud of his carriage that he spent so much money on, when he could not even use it. The way people treat the learning of knowledge and skills is similar to how the disciple treated the carriage. People look for all kinds of luxurious carriages that they will not, or cannot even use.

What is infinitely better is to enjoy and indulge in the carriage you already own to move forward in your life, no matter how cheap and ragged it may be. In fact, believing that your carriage is old and worn-out is simply a delusion. Within the most basic carriage lies the secret to enlightenment. However, those who are blinded by delusion that they must seek a fancier, stronger-looking carriage that requires less effort can never see that. The Bluebird of Happiness that you have been seeking forever has been waiting inside you all this time. But how can you learn the ultimate secret if you do not even think about looking deep within your heart?

There is a world of difference between possession and enjoyment. Do not seek the talents of others, cultivate and develop the talents you already own. To be satisfied with what you have and enjoying it – that is the secret to happiness.

Posted in Philosophy

Spoon

Posted on by Jinavie

In the film Matrix, a scene shows the protagonist, Neo, talking to a bald child in the Matrix who can bend spoons. The child can bend and straighten the spoon at will just by looking at it. He then passes the spoon to Neo and asks him to try. Neo stares and stares but nothing changes. The child then says:

Child: “Do not try to bend the spoon, that’s impossible. Instead only try to realise the truth.”
Neo: “What truth?”
Child: “There is no spoon.”
Neo: “There is no spoon?”
Child: “Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.”

This philosophy, while sounding rather simple and nonsensical, can be applied to modern day life in so many ways.

For example, as people mature, they have a tendency to lose the creativity and innocence of their inner child. They find that reality is too harsh and cruel and one must follow the strict rules of society to survive. They feel as if they are trapped in a box, unable to escape forever. This pessimistic view of life and the world restricts their ability to be happy. These people have not yet realised the truth.

There is no box. 

Free your mind and the rest will follow.

Posted in Life & Happiness

Formula Of Happiness

Posted on by Jinavie

Ask yourself the following questions using a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is “not at all” and 10 is “to a large extent”:

  1. Are you outgoing, energetic, flexible and open to change?
  2. Do you have a positive outlook, bounce back quickly from setbacks and feel that you are in control of your life?
  3. Are your basic life needs met, in relation to personal health, finance, safety, freedom of choice and sense of community?
  4. Can you call on the support of people close to you, immerse yourself in what you are doing, meet your expectations and engage in activities that give you a sense of purpose?

Add the scores for 1 and 2. This is P for personal characteristics.
The score for 3 is E for existence (health, financial stability and friendships).
The score for 4 is H for higher order and covers self-esteem, confidence, ambitions and sense of humor.
Now input each score into the following equation:

Happiness = P + (5 x E) + (3 x H)

This gives a score out of 100. The greater your score, the happier you are (over 80 is considered a “happy life”). This formula was devised based on a psychology study of 1000 people. It takes into account the various aspects of life that contribute to your overall happiness and emotional well-being. The study showed statistics such as 40% of men reporting that sex made them happy, while 25% of women reported that losing weight made them happy. Men found more happiness in romance, hobbies and a pay rise compared to women.

Although everyone has a different definition of happiness, there is no doubt that there are common “happiness” factors to all of us and this equation tries to objectively quantify how happy you are in life.

Are you happy?

Posted in Life & Happiness

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Posted on by Jinavie

Everyone goes through a tough time at least once in their lives. As modern life is ideal for stress to build, it is easy to get weighed down by fatigue and negativity. Pent-up stress is the cause of all ill health and one cannot lead a healthy life without overcoming their stress.
Although everyone has a unique method of overcoming stress, there are some very effective generic methods of stress relief. Some examples include hobbies, laughter yoga and meditation, but the method that will be introduced here is progressive muscle relaxation, or PMR.
PMR is very simple and doesn’t take up much time, making it a useful way of relieving stress for busy people.

  1. Sit back comfortably, close your eyes and rid yourself of all thoughts.
  2. Breathe in slowly and deeply and then breathe out. Concentrate on your breathing.
  3. Relax all the muscles in your body into a jelly-like state.
  4. Squeeze both hands into a fist as hard as possible for 5 seconds, then release.
  5. Rest 5 seconds and then repeat twice more.
  6. After three cycles of contraction and relaxation, repeat with your arm muscles.
  7. Apply the same three cycles on your feet, legs, abdomen, chest, neck and head.

The key principle of PMR is achieving complete relaxation by concentrating all your energy into one spot then releasing it. Furthermore, concentrating on your slow breathing has a meditation effect, resting both your mind and body. Once you are relaxed from head to toe, you will feel all the fatigue in your body disappear.
There is no greater enemy than stress. Therefore, it is best to have your own defence mechanism against it, but it also very useful to know a few general methods.

Now, try the progressive muscle relaxation on yourself to resolve all the stress that accumulated over the day.