Tag: habit

Posted in Life & Happiness

May I Have Your Attention Please

Posted on by Jinavie

We live in the Information Era, where we have all of the knowledge of humanity, breaking news and updates from the lives of others at our fingertips in the form of smartphones and the internet. Thanks to big data, artificial intelligence and algorithms, we even have tailor-made playlists of music and videos delivered directly to us.

But along with convenience came a price. Entertainment is a business of attention. Companies constantly try to better capture our attention in the form of ads, algorithms and simple user interfaces. Our brains – as complex and wonderful they may be – much prefer the easy route than what is good for us. We have unfortunately become victims of those who wish to exploit this fact, to convert our attention and time into revenue.

Because of this, we now have shorter attention spans. Think about it: when is the last time you finished reading a book for leisure? When is the last time you sat and thought deeply about something with no distractions? When is the last time you laid on the ground and stared up at the sky, without checking your phone?

Everything comes to us now in small, bite-sized pieces. We have less tolerance for long pages of text or even videos longer than 5 minutes without being distracted by something else. Many people would have already closed this page, distracted by a notification from their phone or because they could not focus long enough to read 875 words on a page.

Our short attention spans result in us being less productive, less detail-oriented and thinking and feeling less deeply in general. We also engage in “unintentional leisure“, where we passively and mindlessly consume content and waste much more time than we intended. Instead of spending time on our hobbies and interests, our loved ones or productivity and creativity, we end up wasting a lot of time due to our fractured attention.

More importantly, the hallmark of being human is our ability to think. Because we have less attention and we feel like we need to constantly fill our time and attention with something new, we reserve less time to ponder and daydream. Instead of indulging in the luxury of idleness and letting our mind wander to explore the nooks and crannies of our brain and soul, we constantly crave a new distraction.

So how do we fight back and reclaim our attention? As highlighted above, one of the biggest threats is the internet and smartphones. One of the best ways to improve your attention span is to reduce the amount of screen time, by using apps that remind you how much time you’re spending online or on the phone, or specifically setting a blackout period where you do not use your phone for a set amount of time, whether it be an hour or a week. This forces you to engage in other activities such as picking up a book you had been meaning to read, starting a pet project or going on a walk with a friend.

Another tip is to find a passion that can engage your brain. We know from psychology that flow state – the state in which you are challenged and engaged at just the right balance – is one of the keys to happiness, because you can enter “the zone” where you are truly focussed and living the present. By getting involved in an activity such as reading, writing, music, sports, gaming, pottery or journaling, you can help train your brain to focus on a task for a prolonged time. This is particularly easier if you are actively interested in your passion, because you won’t be able to stop thinking about it.

Lastly, like any attempt at positive human behaviour change, you need systems. Determination will only last so long, but systems and habits let you change your life for the better in a permanent way. Use timers, reminders and apps to actively push you to do the above activities. Force yourself to go somewhere without internet access, such as going on a nature walk or going to a cafe with just a notebook, and tell yourself that for that time period, you can only do one thing such as thinking, reading or writing. Even if you do not accomplish much in that time period, it is the habit formation that is the crucial part.

Focussing and attention are the skills that have allowed humanity to progress as a species, letting us achieve monumental tasks such as figuring out how the forces of nature interact, solving global-scale problems, and developing seemingly magical technology such as getting us to the Moon and back. It would be such a shame to lose this wonderful, innate ability just so some company can generate more ad revenue.

Now that you have shown that you can focus on reading 875 words, what is something you want to focus on? Whether it be reading an entire book, starting and finishing a DIY project or starting a healthy habit such as gymming regularly or writing a blog, pick something to focus on and train your attention span.

You will find that life is so much better when you can utilise your time in a meaningful, productive manner.

(Image source: Puuung http://www.grafolio.com/puuung1)
Posted in Life & Happiness

Theme Of The Year

Posted on by Jinavie

Even though nothing special actually happens on January 1st, we like to think that it is the perfect time to start anew and become a better you. We set goals and resolutions for the New Year in the hopes of making a positive life change, but we quickly find that it is insanely hard to change our behaviours.

Our brains love defaulting to the lazy option and will justify bad behaviours, so we fall into the cycle of mediocrity and bad habits. This is why in January, we see the gym full of people of steely resolve aiming to lose weight, but by February, the gym has cleared out and only the regular exercisers remain.

We can combat this tendency (and cliché) for New Year’s resolutions failing with SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-based), such as “I want to lose 5kg of weight within one year”. Having a clear, realistic goal that can be reviewed along the way is much more effective than a vague resolution that can easily be forgotten or warped by our feeble minds.

But even SMART goals have flaws. Not meeting goals can be crushing to our self-esteem, which seems contrary to our resolution to become healthier. The pressure of goals can take away from enjoying simple pleasures of life and we can easily obsess over meaningless metrics such as daily step counts.

If you feel that goals are too daunting or easy to fail, an alternative is to set a broad theme for the year. For example, the New Year could be a Year of Reading, Year of Less, Year of Health or Year of Balance. Instead of specific goals or unrealistic resolutions, themes allow you to set a broad undertone for the year, guiding your everyday decisions and actions.

(Image source: Puuung http://www.grafolio.com/puuung1)

For example, a Year of Novelty may push you to go on an adventure to a country you have never been to, instead of a safe holiday to a place you go to every year. A Year of Learning might make you choose to read about a new skill or hobby instead of watching another episode of reality TV. Themes act as algorithms or bots assisting your decision-making. Essentially, every time it is applicable, think about how a choice or decision (no matter how small) fits into your yearly theme and act accordingly.

When you look back at the end of the year, you will notice that there were ups and downs, such as your weight fluctuating, but as long as you keep to your theme, the general trend will hopefully have been positive and you would have enacted change. Changes in human behaviour happen on slow scales, so seeing the big picture is very important to keep up your motivation.

Themes should be broad, letting you adapt to change and unexpected obstacles. For example, an illness or accident may make a goal of saving $5000 for the year unrealistic. But a Year of Finance will accommodate for this, because you will instead be setting up healthy habits such as eliminating unnecessary costs such as subscriptions, keeping account books and tackling high-interest debts. Even slowing down the accumulation of debt will be a positive life change in this situation. Over the course of your life, you will be much better off because you changed your behaviour and created a healthy system.

It does not matter what word you choose as your theme, as long as it is applicable to and resonates with you, so that you stay interested in it. The act of applying the theme itself will become a habit, training your mind to be more focussed and act with direction. If a year seems too long, you can always change the time period to a month, a quarter or a season – such as Autumn of Gratitude.

At the end of the day, setting a theme for the year is a simple tool that is very easy to apply, while having the potential to be far more effective and powerful compared to a flimsy resolution. It takes little effort to set a broad theme and the direction you want to head in, especially if it resonates with your inner desire for positive change.

The only way to grow and improve yourself is to think about how to improve yourself and take action. Having a simple system such as a theme is the easiest start to getting in the habit of actively improving your life.

So why not give it a try?

I learnt the concept of having a yearly theme from CGP Grey, an amazing Youtube content creator! Check out this video for a nice, succinct summary and helpful tips 🙂
Posted in Life & Happiness

Price Of Admission

Posted on by Jinavie

We are critical by nature. This is especially true when it comes to relationships, because we’d like someone as perfect as possible to accompany us on the journey of life. A large part of dating is meeting people, getting to know them better at a deeper level and trying to judge how compatible they are with us.

During this process, we might come across something that we consider a dealbreaker – that is, something that we find annoying, repulsive or unacceptable enough that we no longer desire that person. This may range from serious behaviours such as alcoholism or unfaithfulness, to benign but annoying behaviours such as chewing with an open mouth or being messy.

But with so many potential dealbreakers, how do we know which are legitimate and which are frivolous? Are we being too picky, meaning we will be forever alone, or are we trapping ourselves in a miserable, incompatible relationship, because we are not brave enough to leave the relationship?

An American columnist named Dan Savage answers this question with the concept of paying the “price of admission”. His process is extremely simple: if you cannot count the number of dealbreakers for you on one hand, then the problem lies with you. Choosing the right partner is a very important decision and you are encouraged to have a reasonable idea of what you want and what you don’t. But if your list of what you cannot live with is long and full of superficial things, then you will never find a happy relationship.

People are far from perfect, but we try to hide that fact. On a first date, we try to present an idealised version of ourselves to impress each other. We dream of finding “The One” – someone who is perfect for us. We set unrealistic expectations in our head and use it as an excuse, lamenting that we cannot find the right person while turning away potential partners because of trivial reasons. These delusions distract us from the harsh truth that no two people are perfect or fully compatible for each other from the get-go.

So if your partner has a characteristic that you dislike and it is not one of your core, serious dealbreakers, then ask yourself the question: is it worth it? Does this outweigh all of the good qualities they possess? If you believe it is, then you may leave the relationship, but you must accept that this was your choice and not your partner’s fault. If it isn’t that big of a deal, then this is a price of admission to this relationship. This is the price you must pay for the privilege of the joy, the laughter, the connection and the love your partner could provide you through the relationship.

When you see it this way, it becomes easier to accept their bad qualities. We can be angry and frustrated and annoyed, or we can choose to accept our partners for who they are – flawed, but wonderful people who are worth the trouble. Of course, you can communicate with your partner to see if you can compromise on some grounds, but this should not be an ultimatum and you cannot expect your partner to forcibly change who they are.

Lastly, remember that just as you find some qualities to be suboptimal, your partner will also feel the same way about certain parts of you. So hopefully, both parties can understand that every relationship has a price of admission that must be paid. Then, they can work on smoothing out the rough edges through communication and compromise to produce a strong, healthy long-term relationship.

The secret to a fulfilling relationship is not expecting to find The One, but instead striving to become The One for each other by rounding up.

(Image source: Puuung http://www.grafolio.com/puuung1)

Posted in Psychology & Medicine

Autopilot

Posted on by Jinavie

Anyone who drives to work knows the strange sensation of realising that you have no memory of driving the last few kilometres. It is as if you turn on an autopilot in your brain. Because your brain is a master of pattern recognition, it analyses the route and all the movements like handle turning that takes you to the destination then converts it into a habit. After many commutes, the habit is so strong that the brain does not need to spare any thought on the activity. Ergo, your brain literally turns on an autopilot for you so to spare brainpower.

Thanks to this autopilot, the brain does not have to think about the drive to work. This means that it creates no new memories about the commute and you come out the other side not remembering the drive. An analogy would be to think of your brain’s information processing ability as if it was taking photos. The more new information it processes, the more photos it takes. Because your commute is an automatic process, the brain takes hardly any photos. Therefore, the “album” has few photos and takes little time to flip through. In comparison, your brain takes far more photos if you were to spend an equal time exploring a new scenic route. When you look back on this drive, the album is much thicker and you perceive it as a longer, more detailed memory.

Of course, this is extremely dangerous as your brain’s autopilot does not protect you from changes to your usual commute, such as a car swerving into you by accident. The automatic process means your brain is less ready for information processing and you have a delayed reaction, which may cost you your life.

The same goes for meeting a new person. On a first date, you learn many things about the other person and your brain frantically takes as many photos as it can. Looking back on it, it feels as if every second lasted forever and you can remember every little detail like the song that was playing in the background or the colour of her nails. But twenty years down the line, a day with that same person might feel less special and more “automatic”. Just like your drive to work, such an “autopilot” might result in a horrible accident.

So never stop paying attention to details, avoid forming ruts with surprises and new things. Don’t let your relationship turn into a boring commute.

Posted in Psychology & Medicine

The Centipede’s Dilemma

Posted on by Jinavie

In 1889, British zoologist E. Ray Lankester published an article on the work of the motion of animals in the prestigious journal, Nature. He concluded his article with a poem (which he admitted in not knowing the author of, but commonly attributed to Katherine Craster). The poem goes as follows:

A centipede was happy – quite!
Until a toad in fun
Said, “Pray, which leg moves after which?”
This raised her doubts to such a pitch,
She fell exhausted in the ditch
Not knowing how to run.

The allegory of the centipede illustrates a strange yet hilarious psychological phenomenon, which has been called the centipede effect to honour the poem. Most of the time, we do not put much thought into day-to-day activities such as breathing and walking. We do not have to give much thought because they have become habits – a handy mechanism nature devised to let us do more while using our brain to think about more important things. Habit automatises tasks to reduce attention, but it comes at the cost of the centipede effect, where conscious thought and attention impairs the ability to do that task, much like the centipede tripping on her own leg.

For example, even a professional golf player or violinist will make mistakes the more they thinking about their individual swings or notes they play. A simple experiment you can do is thinking about your breathing. Just by reading that sentence, you consciously divert your attention to your breathing and you will find it difficult to breathe “normally”. Similarly, you can cause considerable distress and time-wasting if you point out a tiny error in someone’s habits, making them overanalyse what they are doing wrong and hyper-reflecting.

What we can learn from The Centipede’s Dilemma is that overthinking never helps. The more we think about something, the more we look at the trees rather than the forest and we get lost in the details. This means we cannot see the overall big picture, which may turn out to be very simple. So the next time you are stuck on a problem in life, stop and take a breath. Clear your mind and let your gut feeling do its thing. Your mind can build so many roadblocks by overthinking – clouding your judgement and crippling your ability to do things. But just remember, all you have to do is drive through those roadblocks and let your heart do what it wants.

Thinking Ahead

(Image source: http://xkcd.com/439/)

Posted in Psychology & Medicine

Habit

Posted on by Jinavie

A habit is the automation of behaviour after many repeats. For example, if one fries an egg every morning, eventually frying egg becomes routine and can be done without even thinking. This is the most primitive form of learning.

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“Automation” suggests that a habit comes from the subconscious mind. Because of this reason, people often do not know they have certain habits, as they do not think about the behaviours that are already habits.
In psychology, habits are defined as “the reduction of sensitivity following repeated stimulation”.

The system of habituation played a crucial role in the evolution of life. Habits saved an organism time by using the subconscious mind to behave more efficiently and more quickly.
For instance, an animal that is faced by a predator usually flees before it can think about the situation. This is the result of practical experience that the animal had gained throughout its life, knowing that running is the best way to avoid being eaten. And because of the repeated behaviour, it has become habituated, subconsciously fleeing when the same scenario comes along. This way, the animal maximises its chance of survival.

However, in modern society this primitive system often causes harm rather than doing good. This is seen in cases of procrastinating students, impulsive consumers and businessmen who smoke every lunchtime (addictions are strengthened by habits). These phenomenon tend to be caused by stress brought on by life and the person’s desire to relieve that stress or resolve their discomfort. This is why having hobbies and interests to relieve stress regularly is a good way to prevent bad habits from forming.

Bad habits form quickly, but good habits seem to take longer. But this only appears so because of the short-term rewards. Bad habits tend to bring satisfaction and stress relief almost instantly, but the advantages of good habits only become apparent slowly (but also steadily). So, what is a way to develop good habits easier? Giving yourself a small reward (such as chocolate) after a desired behaviour is effective in reinforcing such behaviour, leading to habituation.
According to a research, the average time that takes for a habit to fully form is 66 days.