Posted in Psychology & Medicine

Autotelic

From a very young age, goals are set for us by others. As babies we are encouraged to walk and talk, as children we are encouraged to do well in school, as teenagers we are encouraged to get a good degree and as adults, we are encouraged to be a model member of society. Advertisements put forward money, fame and power as models of success. Motivational speakers give speeches telling us paths we should follow to succeed. Parents tell children that they should listen to their advice if they wish to lead a comfortable life in the future. Amongst all of this external pressure, sometimes it seems difficult to have a say in what direction your life should go in.

The word autotelic is derived from the Greek words auto, meaning “self”, and telos, meaning “goal”. An autotelic is one who does not need external reminders to tell them who they are. They have a purpose in and not apart from themselves. They are driven by their own goals, curiosities and motivation. An autotelic does not live life like a connect-the-dots puzzle drawn by society, but chooses to paint their own life on a blank canvas.

The defining feature of autotelic personalities is that they are not driven by the want to be successful, but by the desire to seek challenges and be in flow state. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the psychologist who coined the term flow, defined the mark of the autotelic personality as “the ability to manage a rewarding balance between the “play” of challenge finding and the “work” of skill building“. They are far less interested in external rewards, such as a gold star from a teacher or a raise from a employer. Their reward is the flow state they enter while they work on their goal and the satisfaction that comes with knowing that they completed a challenge.

Some of the greatest achievers in history were autotelics. They did not achieve amazing feats because of the promise of money and fame, but because they were internally driven by the thirst for flow. When questioned why he wanted to climb Mount Everest, famous mountaineer George Mallory replied: ”Because it’s there“. An autotelic personality is not necessarily something you have to be born with. All you need is to constantly challenge yourself, discover whatever brings you to flow state and not let outside forces sway you from your own goals. For the only judge of your life that matters is you.

(If you don’t get the reference, go watch some How I Met Your Mother, coz it’s awesome 😛 Barney Stinson always sets new challenges for himself, always pushing himself to the limits of awesomeness. Examples: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iOi_iPNC50)

Posted in Simple Pleasures of Life

Simple Pleasures of Life #8

Good Scotch and a good movie.

Finally finished weekend shifts. My god, two 8am~8:30pm back to back is inhumane >< But wait, there’s more!!! I have 7am~7pm delivery unit shift tomorrow, then 7:30am ward round on Tuesday where we get ripped to shreds. Fuck yes. On top of the piling notes that I’m failing to study due to crazy amounts of O&G. The only thing that makes it all better? Good Scotch and a good movie.

Just finished watching Now You See Me and I definitely loved it! 😀 I’ve always been a fan of magic and this movie explored the field relatively creatively. I particularly liked the magician fight scene hehe. And tbh I didn’t fully work out the twist so that was a pleasant surprise. Welp, time for me to get 5.5 hours of sleep before I have to go in to sit around and do nothing. Thank god for the simple pleasures of life that keep me going.

Posted in Philosophy

Fundamental Benevolence

Mencius, a leading Chinese Confucian philosopher, proposed a thesis that diametrically opposes Xunzi’s theory of fundamental malevolence. He claimed that human beings are fundamentally good. According to Mencius, people are inherently altruistic and courteous, wanting to help a fellow man. He stated that people are born with all the qualities needed to build virtue: compassion, humility, modesty and ethics. Through mental training and discipline, these traits respectively develop into: humanity (yin, 인, 仁), righteousness (eui, 의, 義), courtesy (ye, 예, 禮) and wisdom (ji, 지, 智). Mencius believed that as every man and woman are born with all the qualities needed to become a saint (seung yin, 성인, 聖人), anyone could become a “good person” through disciplining one’s mind. According to this theory, evil is only a product of bad environments and people inherently act benevolently when matured in a good environment with adequate teaching in etiquettes and social order. Thus, the act of harming others and murdering are because the person’s fundamental nature was corrupted by a harsh life and environment and because they lack virtue and discipline. A person who strives to perfect their morality is a gentleman (gun ja, 군자, 君子), a person who does not is a petty person (so yin, 소인, 小人). In Confucianism, gentlemen are highly respected while petty people are shunned.

Are human beings good-natured? The theory of fundamental malevolence states that human beings, like all other animals, are selfish beings who only care about their own needs and will willingly harm others to fulfil their greed. Contrary to this, the theory of fundamental benevolence (성선설, sung sun sul) teaches that people are altruistic animals who will support and help each other. We proved the validity of fundamental malevolence from an evolutionary perspective with the example of a hungry lion. An animal case scenario that supports the theory of fundamental benevolence is the ant.

By observing an ant colony, we can learn that altruism can assist in survival. An ant by itself is quite powerless, but when millions of ants come together to form a colony, they can build great cities to protect themselves, they can farm to feed everyone and they can easily overcome any foe of all sizes. Ants do not become jealous of another ant who has more food. Instead, when they are full, they will store excess food in a social stomach so that they can share it with another hungry ant they come across. Through cooperation, understanding and connection – that is, the philosophy of 1 + 1 = 3 – ants are able to compete and survive in nature. In fact, ants thrive anywhere in the world and can easily adapt to almost any environmental change. When comparing the two ultimate species that dominated nature, human beings and ants, the commonality is that both build societies. To build a society, individuals must get along with each another, and the key to building relationships is goodwill.

Thus, we have proven that fundamental benevolence can also be supported by evidence from nature. If so, are human beings fundamentally good or evil? The more you study people, the less credibility there is for fundamental benevolence. Of course there are plenty of stories of altruistic people, but “generally” people are still selfish animals who prioritise their own gain. No matter how much you say “I care for other people and wish everyone in the world happiness”, the reality is that you will only really care and love for people within your monkeysphere, while not caring nearly as much for the starving child on the other side of the world.

This is not to say that “good” does not exist on this world. It is just that the fundamental nature of human beings is likely to be evil, as Xunzi posited. However, as we grow, we learn social order, etiquettes and morality and we try to suppress our basal instincts as much as possible. Although our efforts are usually successful, we still slip up every now and then. On the contrary, some people do not even make the effort to hide their true nature and we label these people as “evil”.

Whether we are fundamentally good or evil, the truth is that we have both the potential and ability to develop our own character and sense of morality. Whether you will be an ant, who builds great cities and strive for a society where everyone helps each other stay well-fed, or a lion, who stalks prey all alone to feed itself day-to-day; that is your choice.

Posted in Psychology & Medicine

Abilene Paradox

On a hot afternoon visiting in Coleman, Texas, the family is comfortably playing dominoes on a porch, until the father-in-law suggests that they take a trip to Abilene (a city 53 miles north of Coleman) for dinner. The wife says, “Sounds like a great idea.” The husband, despite having reservations because the drive is long and hot, thinks that his preferences must be out-of-step with the group and says, “Sounds good to me. I just hope your mother wants to go.” The mother-in-law then says, “Of course I want to go. I haven’t been to Abilene in a long time.”

The drive is hot, dusty, and long. When they arrive at the cafeteria, the food is as bad as the drive. They arrive back home four hours later, exhausted. One of them dishonestly says, “It was a great trip, wasn’t it?” The mother-in-law says that, actually, she would rather have stayed home, but went along since the other three were so enthusiastic. The husband says, “I wasn’t delighted to be doing what we were doing. I only went to satisfy the rest of you.” The wife says, “I just went along to keep you happy. I would have had to be crazy to want to go out in the heat like that.” The father-in-law then says that he only suggested it because he thought the others might be bored.

The group sits back, perplexed that they together decided to take a trip which none of them wanted. They each would have preferred to sit comfortably, but did not admit to it when they still had time to enjoy the afternoon.

This anecdote was written by management expert Jerry B. Harvey to elucidate a paradox found in human nature, where a group of people collectively decide on a course of action that is against the best wishes of any individual in the group. Essentially, the group agrees to do something that would not benefit any one, or the group as a whole. This is the Abilene paradox, colloquially known to us through the idiom: “do not rock the boat”.

As seen in the anecdote, there is a breakdown of communication where each member assumes that the majority of the group will decide to follow the action, pushing them towards conformity. There is a mutual mistaken belief that everyone wants the action when no one does, leading to no one raising objections. This is a type of phenomenon called groupthink (coined by George Orwell in his dystopian novel, Nineteen Eighty-Four), where people do not present alternatives or objections, or even voicing their opinions simply because they believe that will ruin the harmony of the group. They are also under peer-pressure, believing that by being the one voice against the unanimous decision they will become ostracised.

The Abilene paradox explains why poor decisions are made by businesses, especially in committees. Because no one objects to a bad idea (falsely believing that that is what the group wants), even bad ideas are accepted unanimously. This is particularly dangerous when combined with cognitive dissonance, where the group will believe that they chose that decision because it was rational and logical. To prevent this paradox from destroying individual creativity in the group, one should always ask other members if they actually agree with the decision or are merely the victims of groupthink.

Posted in Life & Happiness

Slap Bet

If you ever have a disagreement with a friend and would like to bet over who is right, make the ultimate wager: the slap bet. Basically, whoever is right gets to slap the other person in the face as hard as they possibly can. On the surface it appears to be simple and harmless. But in reality, it is a deadly and formidable wager. For example, if one ever makes the unfortunate mistake of making a slap bet with the condition that the slap can occur at any place at any time, then they must live in fear of a slap appearing out of the blue and leaving a glowing, red and rather painful hand print on your face.

Being such a pricey bet, it is always useful to appoint a Slap Bet Commissioner. The Commissioner is responsible for resolving any problems that may arise regarding the bet, such as making a ruling. They must remain completely unbiased and hold the integrity of the slap bet above all else. They must also enforce the sacred rules of the slap bet, such as no premature slapulation. If the rules are disobeyed, the Commissioner has the power to endow one player the right to slap the other player (with completely subjective judgement of how many slaps they can get).

The slap bet is also highly customisable, where the players can settle on the number of slaps and the manner in which they will be delivered. Will the loser receive ten slaps in a row? Or will they get five slaps that can occur from the moment they lose to infinity?

A slap bet is the ultimate bet that is so satisfying and cathartic for the winner, but for the loser it is… well, let’s just say it is a real slap in the face.

Posted in Life & Happiness

Possimpible

Have you ever had a moment when something so unbelievable, so improbable that you never would have imagined it would happen, happened? When something you could only dream of actually happened in real life? When something so impossible that you must have stepped into a parallel universe for that thing to happen? The feeling that such a moment brings is indescribable.

Success is not about money and power. Success is not a product of luck. To become successful, one must change their state of mind first. The most crucial thing to understand is that the only limit is that there are no limits. Only when you dare to go past what is possible will you attain anything worthwhile. “To the impossible?” you may ask. No, true success lies beyond the impossible. A place where the possible and the impossible meet to become: the possimpible. Only when you have become the master of the possimpible will you be able to confidently say that you have succeeded in life.

Nothing, and everything is possimpible. 


Posted in Psychology & Medicine

Conformity

We often see people who criticise others for being “sheeple” – people who blindly conform to the majority and follow someone like sheep do. They protest that as human beings, we have a right and duty to exercise free will, sticking up for one’s own opinions. However, according to an infamous experiment from the 1950’s, we know that human beings are bound by our natural instincts to be social creatures, obeying the collective will of the group we are in.

In 1953, Solomon Asch designed an experiment to study the power of conformity. He told participants that they will be taking part in a vision test with a group of people. They were shown a picture depicting lines of various lengths, asking which line on the right matched the line on the left:

It was a simple task of matching the line to another line of the same length with the answer being blatantly obvious. But as with so many psychological experiments, there was a trick. The group of “participants” were actually in on the experiment other than the one subject. During the experiment, the group would all put their hands up on the blatantly wrong answer instead of the actual correct one. How did this action affect the subject’s answer?

Although it seems clear that the answer is A in the given example, when in a situation where the majority of people put their hands up for “B” or “C”, up to 32% of the subjects gave the incorrect answer. No matter how large the differences were between the sizes of the lines, the results did not change. Although 32% is only a third of the study group, one must bear in mind that this experiment only looked at black-and-white scenarios of lines of different length. If the issue at hand was much more “grey” – such as an ethical dilemma – it can be extrapolated that the person would easily sway and conform to the majority opinion.

The reason for the level of conformity exhibited in the experiment is quite simple: it’s the one who is different that gets left out in the cold.

Posted in Life & Happiness

Tie

One challenge a man faces as he grows up is tying a tie. A well-tied tie not only looks good, but also shows that you are a highly organised and proper man. The following instructions describe how to tie the Windsor knot.

  1. Drape the tie around your neck so that the wide end is on the right. Align it so the narrow end is shorter than the broad end.
  2. Cross the wide end over the front of the narrow end.
  3. Fold it behind the narrow end then push it up the hole (between the tie and your neck).
  4. Bring the wide end down (over the loop), then around the back of the narrow end.
  5. Tighten the loop made. This will make the right side of the triangle at the end.
  6. Fold the wide end over and around the loop. 
  7. Pull tight as you did in step 5. This is the left side of the triangle.
  8. Cross the wide end over the front of the triangle, under the loop, up the hole.
  9. Feed the broad end through the knot you made in front of the triangle. Pull down and tighten.
  10. Shape the knot into a symmetrical triangle as you tighten it. Now tighten the loop comfortably around your collar.

If the tie is too short or too long, repeat by adjusting how much narrow end you left at step 1. Practising these steps a few times will soon make you a master of ties – an essential skill for all suit-wearing gentlemen.

Posted in Life & Happiness

Get Psyched Mix

The Get Psyched Mix is a list of 24 English rock & roll songs carefully handpicked by Barney Stinson. His intention was to create a mixed CD that steps up from the traditional rule that a mix CD must “rise and fall”; instead, it is all rise. This means that the mix allows for maximum psychitude with no time wasted, giving you that amped feeling to clear away all the worries and troubles of your life.
After listening through the entire mix, you will indubitably feel the need to high five or fist bump your bro and appreciate the beauty of life. Whenever you are down, the Get Psyched Mix will cheer you up without failure.

This is a modified, recompiled version by Jin Kim for even more psyche: (Youtube playlist here: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7ADC01CA52D35E52)

  1. Bon JoviYou Give Love A Bad Name
  2. AC/DC – Highway To Hell
  3. Joe Esposito – You’re The Best
  4. Guns N’ RosesParadise City
  5. Europe The Final Countdown
  6. Scorpions Rock You Like A Hurricane
  7. Van HalenPanama
  8. PoisonTalk Dirty To Me
  9. AC/DC Thunderstruck
  10. KISS – Lick It Up
  11. Van HalenJump
  12. Bon Jovi Livin’ On A Prayer
  13. Guns N’ RosesWelcome To The Jungle
  14. Journey Don’t Stop Believing
  15. Warrant – Cherry Pie
  16. Starship – We Built This City
  17. Pseudo Echo – Funky Town
  18. Billy Idol Dancing With Myself
  19. Rick SpringfieldJessie’s Girl
  20. Twisted Sisters – I Wanna Rock
  21. Eric ClaptonLayla
  22. Kenny LogginsHighway To The Danger Zone
  23. Queen – We Will Rock You
  24. The Proclaimers 500 Miles

Posted in Life & Happiness

High Five

A High Five is the definitive symbol of awesomeness, the act of celebrating a legendary moment, bro-ship or the simple pleasures of life. It is easily performed by one person initiating it by raising an open hand (which can be accompanied by the calling out of “high five” or “give me five”), and the other person slapping the hand palm-to-palm with sufficient force. This act most likely originated in sports to celebrate the team’s victory and the bond between team members.
A similar, and appropriately substitutable act is the fist bump, where two people tap their knuckles together in a light but decisive manner

An important principle regarding the high five, under Article 107 of The Bro Code, is that A bro never leaves another bro hanging. Not only is this dangerous to the bro’s health for keeping his arm raised for so long, but it can have a devastating effect on his confidence and social status due to the embarassment it causes in public.

The High Five can show great flexibility according to the situation, and thus can be modified easily. Such examples include: “relapse five”, “phone five”, “door five”, “tiny five”, “freeze-frame high five”, “hypothetical five”, “wordplay five”, “arthritis five”, “claw five”, “solemn low-five” or the last-resort “self five”.